First Impressions

From the desk of Carol C. . .

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

We’ve all heard this quote over and over, but I think of it every time I write an email to the parents of a student.  It doesn’t matter if it’s the first email I’ve written them or the 10th one.  This quote enters my mind.  Communicating with parents is a huge part of our work in classrooms and it can be a key to maintaining enthusiasm with the family, as well as the child.

My usual mode of communication is to cut to the chase.  Many times this is helpful.  It’s not helpful though when communicating with parents.  Say you need to write the parents of a child who is socializing while you’re trying to teach.  My instinct is to say just that, but I’ve learned through the years to say something positive first.  You may call it sugarcoating, but I call it offense instead of defense.  Look at the beginning of an email.

Mr. and Mrs. Doe,  Johnny has been talking with those around him while I am trying to teach.  It is keeping others from learning.  I have moved him, so he is sitting by himself.  Please speak with him.  Hopefully, this will improve.

 Many parents receive this type of email as a slap in the face.  After all they see their children as an extension of themselves, and you’ve just corrected them.  Also, starting out the letter in a negative way can cause parents to become defensive.  You want to get them on your side from the beginning. If you want to get straight to the point yet soften the blow, start out with something like:

Mr. and Mrs. Doe, I am concerned about Johnny’s progress this last week.  He has been socializing with those around him, and I feel it is impeding his learning.  Today I moved him so he is sitting by himself.  I’m hoping when he returns to his table tomorrow, he will be the attentive learner I know he can be.  If you have any suggestions, please let me know.  Thanks for your help!

At the beginning of this second email you immediately show you are concerned.  It doesn’t have quite the condemning sound of the first one.  You’re talking only about his learning, giving a specific amount of time the punishment will last, and asking for the parents’ input.

You might want to begin the email on a positive note:

Mr. and Mrs. Doe, Johnny has always enjoyed being with his peers.  He is well liked and friends with everyone in our class.  However, this past week I have been concerned about Johnny’s academic progress. He has been socializing with those around him while I have been teaching.  I feel it has been impeding his learning…

If you want to maintain enthusiasm with your students and parents, then keep your communications honest but rooted in kindness and respect.

…there are few things as threatening to us as individuals as a person who perceives our worst flaws, especially when those flaws are all they see.