Changing Hats

I was the perfect parent before I had a child.  I had taught for several years before our daughter was born, so I thought I was well prepared for the role.  I had observed many parent/child relationships, had read multiple parenting “how to” books, had tried incredibly hard to follow every doctors’ order, and had all the essentials ready to go.  Then they placed that precious child in my arms and I knew that I had more to learn than I could ever have imagined.  I climbed down from my high horse, took off my white hat, replaced it with my “mom hat,” and have been praying ever since.

Before I knew it, our daughter was in kindergarten and my thoughts about school, homework, and parent/teacher relationships truly changed.  It was always so easy to critique other parents and their children and now I was walking in their shoes.  I remember sitting at our kitchen table as we struggled through homework, multiple projects, and many tears.  With my “mom hat” in place, I would try to help my daughter and she would quickly remind me that I was not her teacher.  It was my “mom hat” that made me re-evaluate my “teacher hat.”

Here are a few things I have learned:

• Parents and teachers usually have the same goals in mind.  They want their children to learn and be their best.
• Interactive communication between school and home is a must.
• Homework should be about quality not quantity.  It should provide a snapshot of what learning is taking place, allow for practice, and provide a chance for parents to provide one-on-one support if needed.
• Parents must be advocates for their children.  Parents can provide insights into academic, social, and emotional behaviors that can help teachers better meet their children’s needs.
• If there is a problem or concern during the school day, it is helpful for the parents to hear it from the teacher.  If a child gets a bump on the playground, give parents a heads-up before the child gets home.  This way they can monitor the situation and they can rest a little easier knowing that you are aware of the situation.
• During conferences, ask parents if they have any concerns to address first.  They will be more active listeners to what you have to say once their minds are put at ease.
• Something that seems very little to adults can be a very big deal to our children.  Respect their worries and try to help them develop the tools to be problem solvers.

My daughter is now an adult, and I am still teaching (and praying).  I am also still learning and refining my skills as I wear my “teacher hat.”  Now more than ever, I believe that parents are the best allies that our schools can have. I also think that having compassion for our students means having compassion for their parents too.  In today’s busy world, parents are juggling schedules, rushing from work to soccer practice, and busily changing their many “hats” as they strive to take care of their children and meet their ever-changing needs.  Working together plus giving each other a little grace can equal the home/school relationship that can help our children thrive.

“The school’s best ally in the task of nurturing a student’s innate ‘urge to learn’ is, first and foremost, the parents.”  – Bernie Poole