Compassionate Action
I quietly observed as several of my kindergartners were racing on the playground. The first couple of races had been quite spirited, so I was watching closely as the third was ready to begin. The starter counted 1-2-3-go and off they went. As they sprinted to the finish line, two boys became entangled and one fell to the ground. All three of the other competitors stopped and came to their friend’s aid. I was pleasantly surprised to see the once competitive individuals rally around their classmate to see if he was okay. One motioned for me as the other two helped their fallen friend. I was amazed to see how quickly the focus had shifted from self-absorption to compassionate action.
Internationally known psychologist Dr. Daniel Goleman tells us, “when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or compassionate action.” Dr. Goleman is the author of Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.
Emotional Intelligence refers to our ability to recognize, manage, and act on our own feelings and those of others. Goleman’s research describes 5 Components of Emotional Intelligence – or different ways of being smart.
The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence
Self-awareness – This is the ability to recognize, monitor, and understand personal moods and emotions. Self-awareness is often shown through realistic self-confidence and self-assessment.
Self-regulation – This is the ability to control and redirect moods and impulses – to think before you act.
Internal Motivation – This is the motivation to work for internal reasons instead of for external rewards. It is an “inner vision” or a joy that comes from doing something – like a love for learning.
Empathy – This is the ability to understand and react with concern to the emotions and feelings of others.
Social Skills – This is the ability to manage relationships, work together to find consensus, and build rapport with others.
Some of Goleman’s research shows a global trend – children seem to be more emotionally troubled now than in the past. The good news is Goldman feels we can remedy this problem by preparing our children for life by strengthening and nurturing awareness of these skills. Human beings are wired for compassion, but in our hurried and competitive world, our focus often shifts and we become incredibly self-absorbed. We need to take the time to blend the heart and the head to build compassion in our schools, in our communities, and in our world.
Not long ago our focus was on IQ – the unquestioned measure for student success, but research shows that there is much more. If you have ever watched The Big Bang Theory, you have observed the fictional Dr. Sheldon Cooper, a brilliant theoretical physicist, who has little emotional intelligence. His extremely high IQ does little to help in day to day life circumstances because of his lack of emotional and social skills. Sheldon may have an incredibly high IQ, but his low EQ causes him to fall short. In this fictional world his plight is quite humorous, but in the real world – the one that we must prepare our students to navigate – it’s not so funny.
Emotional Intelligence is not “fixed,” so we can help our children develop the skills of self-awareness, self-regulation, internal motivation, and empathy. Building social skills is just as important as building reading, writing, and math skills if we are going to prepare our students to thrive in the competitive world in which we live. Taking the time to purposefully weave these life strategies into our daily routine will pay off with positive results. Compassionate action is contagious. Let’s spread a little around.
Check out Dr. Goleman’s Ted Talk – Ideas Worth Spreading – Why Aren’t We More Compassionate?
