The Ugly Duckling Syndrome

The story of the Ugly Duckling has always broken my heart.  As a child, I just couldn’t bear to read how that poor little fledgling was teased and mistreated – and being one who cries at Hallmark commercials – I still have a hard time reading it to my students.  Now I prefer to read Willy Claflin’s version entitled The Uglified Ducky.  Claflin tells the tale of a poor lost moose who accidentally finds his way into a family of ducks.  When he is mistaken for a large homely baby ducky, he endures humiliation after humiliation as he strives to learn to waddle, quack, and do all the things a good little duck should do.  As the story unfolds, our young moose finds his real “fambly” and realizes how “magnificent” his relatives – and he – really are.  This hilarious version of the Ugly Duckling is much easier for me to read because of its humor, but the story still rings true.  It is the tale of the struggle to belong and the ultimate discovery and acceptance of who we are.

A sense of belonging is a human need, one that our children long for in our classrooms.  A student’s ability to learn depends on so much more than textbooks and academic strategies.  It also depends on the need to be an integral part of the learning community.  Our children spend much of their daily lives in school and it is essential to their well being to feel safe and valued – to be a part of the class family.  When our students feel that they belong, they are more engaged, and when they are engaged, they learn.  So how do we help our students feel that they belong?

• We create a class climate where everyone feels safe and valued.  Bullying and unkind words are not allowed.  Classroom language is used to build each other up, not tear each other down.
• Students commit to help and encourage one another.  They set goals, reflect on outcomes, and problem solve together.  Learning is a social process and we learn through our successes and our mistakes together.
• Daily dialogues are the norm and the teacher is not the only one talking.  Respectful learning language is used and the gift of listening is celebrated.
• Student-centered learning drives instruction and the individual needs of students are respected.
• There is an expectation of working respectfully together – because just like at ERG – we are better together.
• We set the tone and it is up to us to model the same behavior we expect from our students.

We all want to belong and we are all a little like that poor little duck on the pond – paddling as fast as our legs can go – just trying to keep our heads above the water.  You know, it is always easier to stay afloat in life when we support each other.  We can shake free from the “ugly duck syndrome.”  If you have the chance, take the time to read the Uglified Ducky.  You can sign up for a free trial on Tumblebooks and listen as the author reads his creative take on the classic ugly duckling story.  It is a great introduction to a class discussion on belonging.  Start a conversation and make a difference. Every child deserves to belong.

“The idea of belonging shouldn’t be considered a privilege available to only some students.  It should be considered a basic human right.”  – Linda Mullen, Executive Director of the Sparkle Effect