You Are One Person

From the desk of Alice…

There is research that suggests students only need to be connected to one person in the school in order to be successful in high school.

One person.

That one person could be the secretary, the teacher, the housekeeper or an administrator.

After spending time in a high school recently, I can see where we still have some work to do.  I noticed students who lack engagement not just with academics, but also with social and emotional isolation.   One of the largest groups of students I noticed that fell into this category were the ones who may be academically average (or slightly below) and who are distinctly quiet.

We can all identify the squeaky wheels in every classroom and the highest achievers as well as the lowest achievers.  The students who appeared to be increasingly at risk are the proverbial silent majority.  These are the students who are not on either end of the academic spectrum and typically go unnoticed in a classroom of 25 or more students.  Some of them actually work to just blend in because they have noticed how much easier it is to slide by if you are not on anyone’s radar.

Will these students graduate?  Maybe.  Are they thriving?  Certainly not.  Are they at risk in a variety of ways?  Most definitely.

Brené Brown talks about belonging as a fundamental need among humans.  She emphasizes the idea that if students do not belong in healthy groups, then they will seek out unhealthy groups.   (Think about gangs as an extreme example here.) As students naturally mature and become more peer focused, this sense of belonging is highlighted even more.

In what I observed recently, some students go through their entire day without any sense of belonging.  They slip in and out of classes, do not have large friend networks, and are often escaping the reality of the classroom by putting in ear buds and withdrawing into their own world.

Remember, it only takes ONE adult connection to help students succeed.

Brené says children need to explicitly hear (and believe) the following three things in order to feel like they belong:

1.  I see you.

2.  I love you.

3.  You belong here.

What can this look like in our classrooms?  I am thinking none of this has to be elaborate.  Consider taking time to reflect on how these message are sent (or not sent) in your classroom:

• How do you let individual students know you see them?  Do you ask basic questions about their day, their other classes, their interests, comment on something you notice about them or inquire about who they are as individuals?

• How do you let them know you love them?  Of course I do not recommend telling high school students you love them for obvious reasons.  But what could this look like in your room?  Are you forgiving?  Do you allow them to make honest mistakes?  Do you make an effort to honor them as much as you want them to honor you?

• How do you cultivate the feeling of belonging?   Do you see them as unique opportunities or burdens that fill up your day?  Do you see a number or a person?  Do your students have rights as well as responsibilities?

If we could intentionally choose 5 students, just one each day of the week, over the next week and make sure these messages were loud and clear, we could easily grow the sense of belonging for one student at a time, thus lowering the drop out rate and impacting long-term achievement.

This costs nothing other than your mental space to consider what to say and when to say it.  I would love to see a One Person Challenge formed in our schools as a safety net for the kids who are not loud, are not failing everything, are not great at school and are not charming and witty.  You are One Person.