Is there such a thing as Bad Praise?
From the desk of Carol C….
Have you ever caught yourself telling your child or a student “You’re so smart”? I know I have. Many times I say it almost absentmindedly.
“I finished the puzzle.”
“You’re so smart.”
“I finished my homework.”
“You’re so smart.”
“I didn’t hit my brother when he stole my Legos.”
“You’re so smart.”
Well, you get the idea, so I’ll stop with my numerous examples of when I have used this phrase. I never thought twice about saying this until I read the research by Carol Dweck and others on the topic of intellectual praise and the negative impact it has on children. As I began to read the research by Dweck in her book, Mindset, I wondered how any praise could have a negative effect. (I was interacting with the text like any good reader…I’m so smart.) Dweck found that generalized praise such as “You’re so smart” or “You did that so quickly” sent the message that being intelligent is THE key to success.
However, when intelligence is stressed instead of effort, children begin to believe that making mistakes is not an option. (I wish my teachers, wonderful as they were, had known this.) When intelligence is stressed, making mistakes is equated with being “stupid”. When faced with the idea of begin perceived as stupid, children are likely to choose easier tasks that make them feel superior instead of encouraging them to choose tasks that require effort, thought, and commitment. They shy away from ones where true learning may occur.
If you’re smart you don’t have to work hard do you? You certainly don’t make mistakes if you’re smart. Think of Bill Gates, Marie Curie, or Albert Einstein to name a few. These people are often classified as geniuses. Certainly they didn’t work hard or make mistakes or did they…? Consider Einstein’s quote: “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” or Gates’ quote: “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” or Curie’s quote: “I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy.” It doesn’t sound like success fell into their laps without some blood, sweat, and tears.
If too much importance is placed on successful completion of a task rather than effort put forth, what do children think when they meet with failure? They think of themselves as unintelligent since intelligence=success in their minds. Intelligent people don’t work hard or make mistakes like they do. It’s human nature to lose your motivation and your willingness to take risks when doing so could damage your ego. Think of the child who quits after one weak attempt to solve a problem. Isn’t it easier to choose this path rather than the one that requires extended thought? Who wants to embrace a job that makes her perceive herself as a low ability worker? No one. Quitting would seem to be the best way to avoid either of these two scenarios.
So what is the answer for parents and teachers? Praise effort over success even if the effort failed. Praising effort encourages children to continue to choose more difficult tasks over easier ones. Dweck states that we should “teach children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning.”
What steps should a teacher take in the classroom to encourage tenacity and enjoyment of difficult tasks?
- Use specific praise that targets a child’s effort. “You worked hard on those questions about fractions.”
- Look for children who give up easily after a failure, perform poorly after a failure, or overstate how easy a task was. These are signs of a child who has been taught to value winning over trying.
- Discourage the use of the phrase “This was easy” from any child in your class. Instead have children say “I understood that assignment.” Then challenge them with a more difficult assignment.
- After educating yourself more on this topic, educate parents about the types of praise to give and the ones to avoid.
- Use effort praise with adults and not just children. It works. I’m a prime example.